Bella and I are already up. Kacper is due at eight, Jan will sleep until ten. I look at the clock and consider my emotional state. I am badly shaken. I feel fear. I wonder whether this is not normal — that when you start coming out of a depression by way of the engine restarting, when bupropion begins to work and you start seeing the world as it is, existential fear arrives. Especially since I have learned that my mother is ill. And it is quite possible that she will die soon. I cannot imagine it.
Apart from that, everything strikes me as
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