I want to record the moment when I have a hypothesis in my head that gives me peace. It is about Eliasz and the fact that he has started writing a book “from the heart”. My first reaction was to take it as a declaration of some kind of war — the cult reaching for a weapon. I built myself a scenario in which this was a general mobilisation on their side. It frightened me a little. I started to feel bad about it, I could not sleep, I was short of sleep, the depression deepened, I withdrew. But I have found an explanation that lets me carry on
The rest is for readers with an account
An account is free and takes an email address. Nothing to pay, nothing to install — a link arrives in your inbox and you read on. Stars collected in this browser carry over to the account.
Claim your starsIf you are in crisis, help exists where you are — find a helpline in your country: findahelpline.com (free and confidential; most lines answer around the clock).